...and so it begins...

today is the day that i received my first missed payment call on a credit card. i did not answer it, as i was asleep when the call came in (they really do start those auto-dialers early in the a.m., don't they). i thought that i was well resigned to the fact that this time would come, however i am really anxious/depressed over the whole thing. feelings of nausea come in little waves, and i just want to curl up into a little ball and cry....but that doesn't help end this turmoil...so i get up, go make some coffee, and get dressed in order to drop teeny off at her swim lessons (at least her mom can afford a few fun things for her to do this summer)....then it is back to the job hunting...and a good, hard, upper-body workout.